All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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