Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
