I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
