He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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