But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
