Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
