And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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