did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
