my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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