GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
