If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
id be glad to
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
