You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
