he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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