Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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