Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
