Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

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(407): View more from Florida

I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

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(631): View more from New York

Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(339): View more from Massachusetts

just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

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(509): View more from Washington

Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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(519): View more from Ontario

ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.

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(863): View more from Florida

You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.

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(813): View more from Florida

It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk

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