Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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  (403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6
  Replies (15) Good night (2541) Bad night (730)
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  (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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  (510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy
  Replies (25) Good night (4330) Bad night (770)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?

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  (817): Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for? http://tfl.nu/2cqu
  Replies (5) Good night (3697) Bad night (1197)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1374) Bad night (2543)
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  (925): View more from California

  I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

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  (925): I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/g61c
  Replies (8) Good night (1051) Bad night (3489)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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  (607): Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be? http://tfl.nu/nsuv
  Replies (31) Good night (3062) Bad night (862)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

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  (301): Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools http://tfl.nu/2rog
  Replies (2) Good night (3291) Bad night (787)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (2577)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1298) Bad night (1388)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation

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  (978): also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation http://tfl.nu/1tpq
  Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (779)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1474) Bad night (705)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I come from her. Holy hell.

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  (404): After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now" (404): I come from her. Holy hell. http://tfl.nu/sgm7
  Replies (13) Good night (3209) Bad night (563)
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  (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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  (716): please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this. http://tfl.nu/hb6a
  Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (371)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring

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  (610): I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring http://tfl.nu/xbtn
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (705)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?

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  (407): The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right? http://tfl.nu/xl1n
  Replies (0) Good night (355) Bad night (162)

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