walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
