Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
