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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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• (432): View more from Texas

  They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm turning into an adult here.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Adults touch each other's special zones.

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.

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