Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.