Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.