I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
