I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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