I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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