don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
