Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
