i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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