The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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