who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
how drunk are you?
Several
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
