He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
