I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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