its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
