dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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