i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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