Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
