I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
