And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
