That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
