moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
