Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
