Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
