dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
