i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
