i permit you to call me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
