oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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