Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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