he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize