I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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