I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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