Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
