I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize