Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
