I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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