Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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