Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
