I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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