it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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