my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
