girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
