Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
