I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
