I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
