i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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