Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
