so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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