i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
