his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
