dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
