I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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