It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
