I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
